and what scares me the most, is that I don’t hate you. I’m supposed to hate you and see everything that is you as a flaw… but I don’t. I certainly don’t love you, but I’m scared because I can’t bring myself to hate you.
¿Quieres Bailar?: I want to live in a brick flat, with a mattress on the floor covered...
I want to live in a brick flat, with a mattress on the floor covered by a soft sheet, two pillows and a quilt; overlooking a window. I want to wake up and take pictures; I’ll take pictures of my girlfriend in her nude beauty, pictures of my cat being a dumb cat, and all that other indie shit. I…
they’re going to ask me, “do you miss her?”
I will say yes.
they will ask me, “do you still love her?”
I will say I do.
they will ask me, “why did you let her go?”
I won’t know why.
just stay. maybe things will get better.
leave. people never change; this will never work out.
what a shitty way to start off a new year.
Today was wonderful. I met Carrie’s dad, I got wonderful presents, and I got to see a happy family celebrate Christmas together. That was nice.
i just want to give a quick shout out to my best friend. thank you for being yourself; amazing. i love you.
things are finally turning around
it was like a test. the hardest test life has thrown at me, and I think I passed. maybe not with an A, but I passed
I feel like you don’t even listen to me… I don’t think you understand. All I do is work. School, Tom’s, chores. I have practically no down-time. And my days off? I spend with you. I love you, yes, i love you so much. But i swear you go out of your way to start fights. you always pick the hard road instead of the easy one. why won’t you do something for me, for once? Please? Do something special for me, be nice to me, give me a surprise backrub, surprise me on my day off by coming over… anything, please. I just want something in return. i want you to put more effort into this. I’m working so hard, i have no time to rest, and i don’t think you understand that.
just be nice to me. take a step back and look at all the things i have done and do for you. not to be a tool, but it’s been a lot.
and i’ve done it because I wanted to, yes. but that’s because I love you. i just want you to love me back the way i love you.
please, just take it easy on me? Okay, console me? I need you to support me… I feel like i’m on crutches and you find reasons to kick them out from under me. please Carrie… please. do something for me…
I’m getting really bad… Why? Why is it getting worse and worse… Why am /I/ getting worse… please no.